The Granny Cart kitchen has been quiet, posting has been light, but that doesn’t mean people have stopped dropping by.
Oh no. the human is a curious animal.
For a while I was confused why my favorite tomato bisque recipe was getting so much traffic, then I realized it’s because the recipe name includes the year it was created, 1907, and people are searching for what people ate 100 years ago. I think that’s cool.
Slightly less predictable was the rapid up-tick in people searching for pickled egg recipes just before Thanksgiving. I mean… To whom doesn’t a vinegary, purple egg simply scream harvest festival?
And how do I know all this? Because the good people at WordPress, the platform upon which the Granny Cart floats blissfully through the universe of the internets, are kind enough to allow us users to see the phrases; often funny, sometimes scary, but always interesting, that drive people to our blogs.
There are lots of queries about farro, couscous and pickles, a few about boar roasts, many about poultry, and a goodly number looking for cheesemaking hints. There’s the accent crew too, looking for recipes for Spätzle, Čevapčići and Coq a la Bière. But the grand majority of the inquisitive folk that end up on the Granny Cart probably don’t want to be here.
I hope the person that was looking for Vermont “Olive Oil” finally found what he was after, because the information was certainly not contained on this here Website.
To the gentleman who put curry on his curry, while I agree that the situation might in fact be a pressing one, I really don’t feel that it’s that big of a predicament. In fact, I bet it was quite tasty in the end!
I hope the person that wanted a “recipe containing macaroni and cheese” found one. (If not there’s one right here if you’re still looking, and it’s called Mac & Cheese).
Finally, I will end my commentary on the state of search queries in the same way as always by appealing to the people searching for “tiny bunnies that don’t grow.” Have you found them? Do they really exist? Please, if you’ve managed to find the world’s most perfect pet, contact me. I’ll be waiting.
The Cute
cats that look like gernot (Kind of makes you wonder who Gernot is, doesn’t it?)
give a pig a pickle (That’s gotta be pretty amusing)
how to get a live chicken in a bottle (I bet it’s nowhere near as easy as getting a ship in a bottle)
Cauliflower poodles (Ah yes, behold, there on the horizon, the noble, cruciferous hound)
cute hard boiled eggs (I think these would make this person very, very happy)
The Curious
sunshine scientific names (I’ve never wondered about sunshine before… But if clouds have names… And precipitation has names…)
onion and cheese mexican joke (So a queso and a cebolla walk into a cantina…)
everything is pickled people are pickles (Sounds like the start of someone’s manifesto, if you ask me. That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to write one of those…)
will God allow me to eat shrimp (Oh dear. I think there’s only one person that can really help you make that call, and it’s not me)
rabbits eat pickles? (If pigs can…)
The Creepy
what to do with wife that doesn’t make dinner (Might I suggest a two prong approach: 1. Become friendly with a restaurant that will deliver and 2. Learn how to cook for yourself, perhaps?)
Round-the-World Cookbook cannibal recipe (I’m sure this exists, and yet…)
I’ll give you my antidote To the venom, (But…?)
june cleaver tablescape (I think tablescapes were a little before the Beaver’s time, and yet simply imagining this sends shivers down my spine)
delete granny’s pet,now! (Oh dear, must have been old Gernot again)
And finally, I would like to leave you with one of the truer statements I’ve ever encountered.
small is beautiful but not for cheese
Sir, you, me and Isaac must be seperated at birth. You are welcome here anytime. Please, take a seat, make yourself comfortable, oh, and don’t forget the cheese!
Have a happy weekend everyone!
A Chicken In Every Granny Cart 
Bizarre, perplexing, and darned funny! And if you have cauliflower sheep perhaps you also need cauliflower poodles.
Hilarious! I love the last one.
We recently had a spate of referrals from a google image search for “food that makes bad teeth.” The poor soul kept getting photos of fish and chips or bean on toast and a link to one or another of our “Bad Teeth and Lousy Food” series. Interestingly, this went on for weeks, even though it must have been pretty clear that we weren’t really writing about dental care. And then it got odder. Suddenly we had an image of truly horrifyingly rotten brown teeth associated with one of our posts. How this happened I’ve no idea, as the originating site was in German and I couldn’t read it or find a link that even vaguely looked like redacted recipes.
it’s a weird world out there.
Hi-frickin-larious. I loved this. Aren’t the paths that people use to get to one’s blog fascinating? Lots of people end up on my site for weight-loss fixes–I think it is the “stomach” in the title. I don’t think anyone will lose weight eating my food!
I think my favorite is the chicken in a bottle.
Hah! I get a lot of hits for anything having to do with bones and salmon steaks. That and what to do with moose burger.
Funny that I should land here today (in a conventional blog-serendipity sort of a manner, following Bloglily’s link) and your post is regarding how people find your blog. I’ve spent far too much time this morning reading several posts, wanting to run back to the market for ingredients for new recipes. And, admiring all of your wonderful photographs. Made me feel homesick for New York, though I have never lived there and cannot call myself a New Yorker. Nevertheless it is my favorite city in the world and I feel at home whenever I am there! Until the next time business or pleasure takes me back there, I will enjoy stopping by here to see your photos.
i get a surprising number of people looking for “nude woody allen pics.”
it’s so alarming.
What a wonderfully entertaining post, Ann! A fellow WordPresser, I am alternately fascinated, surprised and amused by the search terms that get people to me. I was delighted to get to the point of being the first Google search result for blue kitchen—out of more than 20 million, no less. But I’m stunned that, writing and cooking here in Chicago as I do, I’m also the first result for Brazilian rice and beans.
In the creepy department, as you so aptly named it, my friend Ronnie over at Out of My Head wrote an amusing piece about her mother-in-law and changing attitudes about sex. Unfortunately, she used both terms in the headline. Because of, I’m guessing, ultimately disappointed searching males, this post is perennially her most read one.
Julie — Oh my god! It all makes sense now! Why didn’t I think about the sheep!
Ann — Wow! That’s really funny. You have to admire the chap for his tenacity however.
Christina — Well, maybe if they all did as much work in the garden as you, they’d loose some weight ;-)
Kevin — Mmmmmm… Moose burger… That sounds awesome.
Cam — Glad to be of service! That’s such a nice compliment! Let me know if you ever have any questions about anything.
Liz — That reminds me about a long-running joke amongst some friends of mine & Isaac’s about nude Jerry Orbach…. Now look what I’ve gone and done. I’m sure that will haunt me for awhile!
TerryB — What a funny funny story! Thanks so much for sharing. Hilarious :-)
I’m so glad you did this! It’s always fun to see what leads Googlers to one’s page. On my other blog, a search term that routinely shows up is “dirndl f***.” I have no idea why, as I can’t recall writing anything that would directly or indirectly involve dirndls or f***ing. But I’m more troubled by the fact that it shows up nearly every day, without fail.
“will God allow me to eat shrimp”… Too funny. :)
Love it. Isn’t funny to know what people are googling about! I love the: “what to do with wife that doesn’t cook?”.
I just love seeing what word searches get people to my blog, but after reading yours I have to say that the fact there’s someone out there trying to find a reason why her/his tiny bunnies won’t grow just makes me sad. What could be wrong with them?
what an entertaining post! Just great!
K — Holy crap, that’s hilarious! Thanks for stopping by!
Rose — That’s my particular favorite as well. Men ;-)
Susan — Oh my god, I never thought of it that way! Like, that maybe there’s a problem with the bunnies. Ugh… Here I thought they were looking for teeny tiny rabbits, like dwarf rabbits. Funny how one phrase can be interpreted so differently.
Bea — Thank you so much for stopping by! That’s such a nice compliment.
Ann,
Turns our you’re a comedy writer too!
Wish I could figure out all those nifty WordPress accessories. I tried downloading the counter plug-in and failed miserably. Now, if it came in recipe format….